Made-Up Hallmark Christmas Movies

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My friends Shannon and Jessica, like me, love nothing more than a good (read: cheesy) Hallmark Christmas movie this time of year. The formula is pretty simple: take one (1) 90s/00s femaleĀ “star” (ideally from “Full House,” “Party of Five,” “Beverly Hills, 90210” or its reboot, “90210,” or “Saved by the Bell”). Make sure she has a busy and important job: anchorwoman, ad executive, etc. She’ll definitely have no time in her busy schedule for two things: romance, and the magic of the Christmas season. Now find her a gentleman (often by way of Santa) and you’re off. But what makes these movies even better, in my opinion? The titles. Almost always a clever play on words, who basically spoil the plot entirely, these are the best parts of the movies. So, without further ado, I present to you my own, entirely made-up Hallmark Christmas movies. Some of these I think would actually work on the air. If you see one you like, please feel free to email/tweet/facebook/etc. this post to your friends – who knows, maybe this time next year we’ll be watching one of these. Continue reading

2014 MLB Playoffs

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I’ve tried to keep sports out of this blog, despite my rabid fandom for the Yankees, Knicks and Jets. That said, it’s time for the baseball playoffs, and because my beloved Yankees failed to qualify, I have to determine which team I will support. So, I came up with the only scientific metric I could think of: Judge each team based on the most famous television show that took place in that city, and crown a winner. Spoiler alert: TV shows that took place in LA are far more plentiful than those that took place in Kansas City, as you’ll see. Without further ado, my 2014 MLB Playoff Picks: Continue reading

March (TV) Madness

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In honor of March Madness, I thought I’d take a look to determine, bracket-style, what really is the best TV theme song ever. Rather than a full 64-song bracket, I started with a top 32. A few caveats: Obviously, I’m biased more on recent shows, although the art of the great TV theme song is vanishing. Also, I tend to favor songs with words (plural), so no Batman, Parks and Recreation (even with Star Wars references), or The Office (US version). Lastly, these had to be opening theme songs, so the chung-chung from Law & Order doesn’t count. (And I was torn whether to include the Jeopardy! music as well).

To me, the ideal theme song conveys enough of what the show is about to catch up casual viewers (i.e. blatantly spelling out the plot, like in The Brady Bunch or Green Acres). But it also has to be a good song; that’s crucial. Catchy, but also good enough that you won’t mind hearing it, say, 400 times. Continue reading