Even More Made-Up Hallmark Christmas Movies

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Since it’s that time of year, I thought I’d come up with a few more of these. Tell me which one(s) you’d watch, and who you’d cast, in the comments!

She’s a high-powered advertising executive who can’t land the big account. He is a former hit song writer down on his luck forced to write – blech – commercials? Can the two of them get the big spot for the big game? Title: “Jingle Bells” 

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All she ever wanted was snow – but good luck finding that in unnamed island country, amirite? This year, she’ll win a trip from her school to visit the town of Holiday, Maine, and finally see the white stuff up close and personal. Title: “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”

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She’s a high-powered advertising executive who has to go home to take care of her family’s farm this season. Her parents welcome her home, as do all the animals, especially her favorite sheep, Kris. When she sees that her old high school flame is also a ranch hand, sparks will fly. Title: “All I Want For Christmas is Ewe”

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She’s a high-powered advertising executive who hasn’t taken a vacation in 5 years. When her boss tells her that she can finally take a break, she heads home for 2 weeks, where she connects with her mother’s best friend’s son, a widower. Can your life change in under 2 weeks?Title: “The 12 Days of Christmas”

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He loves two things: his wife, and his country. So when his tour gets extended, he knows he’s going to miss the holidays with his wife and newborn son.  After completing another successful mission, will he get the two-week furlough he’s been seeking? Title: “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”

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She’s a single mom, and a high-powered advertising executive.  He’s a recent widower, with a white beard and portly figure.  Her son, Billy, sees the sparks flying between the two…and notices there might be something more to Mom’s new friend “Kris” than meets the eye. Title: “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”

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A Lonely US admiral (Rob Lowe?) falls in love during a border dispute with a gorgeous Canadian army ranger (Autumn Reeser). The peace accord is signed on Christmas morning. Title: “The Missile Toe”

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A lonely preschool principal (Elizabeth Berkley) falls in love with the custodian (Mario Lopez!) who is repainting the school’s lockers and also plays Santa in the school play. Title: “Deck the Halls”

3 1950s debutantes (JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Rachel Bilson, and Jessica Lowndes) fall for three “wise” men at their church’s Christmas ball. Title: “Jingle Belles”

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A plastic surgeon (John Stamos)’s first love is cutting – his patients, that is – until one day when he meets the love of his life (Lori Loughlin) on Xmas. Title: “Saint Nick”

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An ex-con has to work at Santa’s workshop. Title: “North Pole Parole”

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A poor boy can only afford two things to give his girlfriend: his love, and a homemade necklace. But he’ll learn the true meaning of Christmas. Title: “Love Don’t Frost a Thing”

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Made-Up Hallmark Christmas Movies

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My friends Shannon and Jessica, like me, love nothing more than a good (read: cheesy) Hallmark Christmas movie this time of year. The formula is pretty simple: take one (1) 90s/00s female “star” (ideally from “Full House,” “Party of Five,” “Beverly Hills, 90210” or its reboot, “90210,” or “Saved by the Bell”). Make sure she has a busy and important job: anchorwoman, ad executive, etc. She’ll definitely have no time in her busy schedule for two things: romance, and the magic of the Christmas season. Now find her a gentleman (often by way of Santa) and you’re off. But what makes these movies even better, in my opinion? The titles. Almost always a clever play on words, who basically spoil the plot entirely, these are the best parts of the movies. So, without further ado, I present to you my own, entirely made-up Hallmark Christmas movies. Some of these I think would actually work on the air. If you see one you like, please feel free to email/tweet/facebook/etc. this post to your friends – who knows, maybe this time next year we’ll be watching one of these. Continue reading